


Got a Secret (Don't Want To Keep It)

by Civilized_muppets



Series: God of Magic [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Returns (Merlin), Emrys is the god of magic, F/M, Gods, Gwen Returns, Modern Era, Old Gods, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, The Knights Of The Round Table Return, for like two seconds, god!AU, god!Emrys, merlin is Emrys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Civilized_muppets/pseuds/Civilized_muppets
Summary: Gwen frowned and leaned forward in her chair toward Merlin as if being closer to him would make what he was saying make more sense."What are you saying, Merlin?"Merlin sighed and looked up at them. Gwen gasped, her hands flying to cover her mouth. In place of Merlin's usual blue eyes were a bright sparkling gold that both was and wasn't like those of the sorcerer's she had seen."I'm saying I'm a god."
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: God of Magic [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728034
Comments: 10
Kudos: 117





	Got a Secret (Don't Want To Keep It)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long, but this summer has been ROUGH. Hopefully, the second chapter will come to me easier than this one did. I hope you enjoy the newest part of the story!

Gwen has always liked Merlin.

He was kind, and funny, and stood up for what was right, even when it got him in trouble. She had been there the day he stood up to the then prince for mistreating his servant, she had been there when he was thrown in the stocks for it, and she had been there when, despite all of that, he saved the prince’s life from the evil sorceress. She watched as he was forced to become the prince's manservant, and she saw how unhappy both of them were at the prospect. She watched from her mistress’s side as Merlin trotted behind the prince, dutiful if begrudging, and how the prince seemed to be determined to make his life a living hell.

She watched as Merlin drank poison for the prince, saving his life yet again, she saw the way the prince defied his father to repay the debt. 

The prince became Arthur that day.

She had watched in horror as the man she thought she might have been falling in love with drew what she thought had been his final breath, how all Arthur’s efforts had been for nothing. She watched as he then sat up like nothing had ever been wrong.

( _ Was that his immortality rearing its head? _ She wondered.  _ Were we really too late to save him? Had we failed him? _ )

Merlin quickly became her closest friend. Her crush on him faded as a new crush on Arthur began. He stood by her as she was courted, as she was banished, as she became queen. He stood by her even when she was enchanted, and she  _ knew _ that he had known, but had never stopped being her friend anyway. When the enchantment was broken, he comforted her as she shook with the knowledge of what she had almost done.

When he took her husband to get help for his mortal wounds, she had had faith in his abilities. She worried, but believed that he would bring her husband back to her in one piece. She took the throne because Camelot needed her to at that moment, but never for a second did she believe that she would sit on it for longer than a few weeks while Arthur recovered.

And then days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, with no sign of either of them. Morgana’s body was found, but there was no sign of either her husband or her greatest friend. She resigned herself to the reality that both had died, as neither would stay away from Camelot if they had the option of coming back, and only death would keep them away. She grew comfortable on the throne, even through her grief, and began to rule as though she would stay.

She repealed the ban on magic, outlawed the pyre entirely. She made a stronger treaty with the druids, and bound all of Albion under one alliance. She knew that her husband wouldn’t have repealed the magic ban, but her husband was no longer the ruler of this land. She had never agreed with it anyway. Not every sorcerer was evil. That ban had taken her father, she would not allow it to take anyone else’s.

Eventually, she grew desperate. She had to know the fate of her husband and her friend. So she went to a druidic leader who was said to have the gift of foresight and asked her of their fates.

“The Once and Future King has fallen from his wounds… but he will rise again… as for your friend… you will never see him again... not in this life.”

She took it as all the confirmation she needed that both of them had died, and had simply never been found. She told Gaius of her findings, but when she told him exactly what the druid had said, he chose to interpret her words differently. He chose to believe that Merlin was still out there somewhere, alive, just not coming home for some reason. It was a tempting thought, but Gwen had to be nothing if not practical as queen. She didn’t argue with him, though. If the thought of Merlin being alive made the old man feel better, then who was she to deny him?

She stood by his bedside as the old man drew his final breath, in the same cot that Merlin had lain in all those years ago when they had both thought that he drew his last. She held his hand tightly as it went limp, and gave him a proper send-off for a member of the royal household. 

Gwen ruled for thirty-five years after Arthur and Merlin died, and thirty years after Gaius. She outlived every other member of the original round table, and when she finally closed her eyes, it was with a smile on her face. She would finally see them all again.

And then she was drowning.

A slim hand grabbed her by the arm and hauled her to the surface, and when she broke free of the water it was with a gasp of relief.

“Are you alright, my queen?”

Gwen turned to her savior and came face to face with a beautiful, pale woman with dark hair. She was smiling sheepishly, as though she’d made a mistake that she hoped Gwen would forgive her for.

“Um, yes, I’m alright, thanks to you.”

The woman smiled brightly with relief.

“That’s good. They’re waiting for you. I’d go with you, but I have to make sure you’re the last. I’ll join you in a moment.”

The woman pointed her towards the closest bit of shoreline with several people standing on it before disappearing beneath the waves. Gwen would have worried for her, but thirty-five years ruling over a quite magical kingdom had taught her to recognize a Spirit when she saw one. The woman would be fine, but if Gwen didn’t get out of this water soon, she wouldn’t be.

As Gwen swam towards the shore, she noticed something, or rather, the lack of something. All the aches and pains in her bones from age had disappeared, and she felt younger than she had in thirty years. She was surely dead, there was no other explanation.

When she reached the shore she was pulled to her feet by a strong grip, and when she saw the man’s face she lost all composure.

“Oh gods Arthur, I missed you so much…”

Her dearly missed husband kissed the side of her head and ran his fingers through her hair, the way she liked it, the way no one had done in thirty-five years. She could only clutch at him harder. When she pulled back to look at him, her brother caught her eye from behind her husband, and she threw herself at Elyan, her composure lost yet again.

“Elyan, I’m so glad to see you again!”

He smiled at her with tears in his eyes.

“I am too, Gwen. But I have to ask, do you know how this happened? We all died, except Merlin, but now we’re back, The Lance who came back was just a shade, and Merlin’s immortal apparently? Do you have any idea what’s happening?”

Gwen frowned. They weren’t dead anymore? The Lancelot who had lead her to one of her life’s biggest mistakes wasn’t Lancelot, but a shade? Merlin was  _ immortal _ and had  _ never died at all _ ?

Suddenly rage burned through her. Merlin hadn’t died, he had  _ abandoned them _ . Abandoned her, abandoned Gaius, abandoned Percival, abandoned Leon. Behind her, the Spirit rose from the lake and walked to the edge of the waterline, but not beyond it onto the shore. One of the other people on the beach, who Gwen hadn’t had a chance to look at yet, walked to greet her, and with a start Gwen realized that the man was Merlin. He pulled the Spirit into a hug before he spoke to her.

“Freya, my friend. Not that I’m not happy about all of this, but why didn’t you tell me to expect more than Arthur? I’m not prepared for all of them!” Merlin said.

The woman smiled sheepishly at him.

“Honestly Emrys, if I had known I would have told you, but even I was unaware. I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you. But it won’t be too much of a bother, right? It’s not like you can’t do almost anything with a snap of your fingers, lodgings for seven people shouldn’t be a problem.”

Merlin sighed and snapped his fingers.

“There, taken care of. Thank you for bringing them to the surface, Freya.”

The Spirit- Freya, apparently- smiled at him again, more warm and genuine this time.

“Anything for you, my dear friend.”

Merlin hugged the Spirit again and kissed her on the forehead before she smiled at him for a final time and sunk beneath the waves, shouting “Remember to call me this Sunday!” as she went. Merlin laughed and responded with an “It’s in my phone’s calendar!” Whatever that meant, before he turned to Artur who was… staring off into space.

Merlin walked up to Arthur and tried to get his attention by saying his name. Arthur’s eyes focused for a moment, before getting hazy again. Merlin waved a hand in front of Arthur’s face, before he took a step closer.

“Arthur? You’ve zoned out on us again.”

Arthur shook his head, before apologizing, something she had only rarely heard him do.

“There’s a lot on my mind.” The once king said.

Merlin went from worried to sympathetic in an instant, clasping his hands on Arthur’s shoulders.

“That’s understandable. Take all the time you need.”

Time. How much time had he spent away from them? Her anger came back with a vengeance, and she marched up to Merlin to give him a piece of her mind.

“Merlin, you better have a damn good explanation for why you never came back! We all thought you’d died with Arthur! I ruled for thirty-five years after he died, you couldn’t have dropped in just once to say hello? To let us know you were okay? Gaius died thinking you were lost!”

Merlin’s eyes grew profoundly sad and guilty.

“I know Gwen, and I am  _ so sorry. _ ”

His voice cracked on the last word, and she took a step backward in shock. She had never heard him do that before. Merlin took a deep breath and continued.

“I made a decision in my grief. One I should never have made while in that state. You have to understand Gwen, I blamed myself. I thought I was poison, that it would be safer for you all if I stayed away. By the time I pulled my head out of my ass, the choice had been made and it was too late. _ I’m so sorry _ .”

Gwen raised her shaking hands to her mouth, before rushing forward to give him a hug. All her anger fled from her just as quickly as it had come. Merlin pulled away from the hug before smiling sheepishly at her and the knights. 

“There’s, um, something you should know. Well, some of you do know already, but some of you don’t, and it’s kind of important, especially since I have no intention of hiding it anymore, and wow this is a conversation I never thought I’d have again, I was only expecting Arthur, and if this makes any of you uncomfortable around me I completely understand, I have friends you can stay with if you’d rather not stay with me-” 

Gwaine laughed and told him to spit it out, and Merlin smiled at him nervously and took a deep breath. Arthur nodded at him encouragingly.

“I’m magic.”

Gwen gasped. Merlin, a sorcerer? It seemed like a joke, but now that she thought about it… it was kind of obvious in hindsight. Merlin had always been able to get more done than any other servant in the castle, and he always seemed to know things no one else should have known…

Something about the phrasing stood out to her though. ‘I’m magic’. Not ‘I have’ like she had heard every other sorcerer phrase it. ‘I  _ am _ magic.’

Gwaine shrugged.

“Yeah mate, kind of guessed that already. You were never exactly subtle.” Gwaine turned to Lancelot. “So how long have you known, then?” 

Lancelot rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“I’ve… kind of known since the beginning? Since I met him? Trust me, however bad at hiding it he may have been later, he was truly rubbish at it at the start.”

Gwen looked between the knights and Merlin, then to Arthur. Magic didn’t bother her, but her husband… didn’t look surprised. He nodded to her as if to say he knew and he accepted it. She wondered how long he had known. She gave Merlin another hug.

“It’s alright Merlin, you’re still you. I don’t mind that you’re a sorcerer, you don’t have an evil bone in your body. Isn’t that right boys?”

The knights nodded in agreement with her, and Merlin gave a sigh of relief, before smiling that big, goofy grin of his.

“Alright then. Let’s go home, shall we?”

  
  



End file.
